Along with relatives, grocery bills and presents, the holiday season often brings a lot of stress.

Sometimes the joy is squeezed out and some people feel like they are just left with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

"Ultimately we really don't have control of much of anything," Licensed Psychological Associate Kat North said. "The things we can control sometimes are our own thoughts."

North, a psychologist with 3-C Family Services in Cary, said controlling your thoughts can lead to changes in emotions and behavior.

Wednesday, North detailed how to deal holiday stress from family, money problems and an uncertain future.

(Click on one of the three black boxes above the video player to hear detailed answers from North on how to deal with each type of stress.)

"I think family is especially challenging because it comes with everything that's ever happened," North said.

The holidays are not the time to fix every hurt that happened in the past, North said.

One of the best things for people to do is to live in the moment and simply allow themselves to agree to disagree, North said.

"Respect them and be polite and sort of go to your happy place and just sort of realize this is a short period of time and you can do this," she said.

Seven in ten Americans said money is a significant source of stress, according to a 2009 survey by the American Psychological Association.

North said the best way to deal with that type of stress is to lower your expectations on giving and receiving gifts.

"I think you have to be really realistic especially this year with gift giving," she said. "Often the gift of your time is more valuable than stuff. We all have enough stuff especially here in America. We don't need anymore stuff."

Babysitting, yard work, a trip to a movie or a picnic in a park are all inexpensive suggestions North gave to give gifts on a budget.

Still, with some economists expecting unemployment to rise through Summer of 2010, an uncertain future can also lead to stress this time of year.

"I think we are all a little bit scared," North said.

In her psychological sessions, North said she encourages her clients to play the "what if" game, as in, "What if I lost my job? What would I do?"

"By playing the what if game, you are making a bit of a practical plan, but what you're really doing is reassuring yourself that, ‘I can handle this,'" North said.